Sister Jamie

I was sick, now, I am healed.  I see-now I know the truth.  I live-Repentance, Baptism in Jesus Name, infilling of the Holy Ghost, with obedience to God's Word.

I was delivered from Bi-Polar Disorder, mental problems, panic attacks, schizophrenia, insomnia, confusion.  I couldn't make decisions.  I was paranoid.  I heard voices.  I lived in a haze, I couldn't see.  I was a zombie with no emotions except being sad.  At one point I slept continuously.  I woke up, ate, laid on the couch, slept, woke up, ate, went back to the couch, and slept.  I woke up, ate, crawled into bed, and slept until morning.

On days I went to church, I'd come home and have a panic attack.  I'd be around other people and go home and just freak out because I didn't know what to do.  I'd start pacing thinking "what do I do now?" I was alone and I didn't understand that by the grace of God, I was still here.  Maybe a person doesn't really understand the presence of the Lord right off the bat.  I would feel the presence of God at church, then go home to the emptiness of home.  

As God revealed Himself to me over the years, I have learned that God isn't just there watching me like a person watches his neighbors.  He is actually an active member of my life.  I am guided in what to do and what not to do.  If I do something wrong, I know it almost instantly, if not beforehand.  If I make a mistake, He will let me know and give me a chance to repent and be forgiven through His grace.  What a wonderful God we serve!  He loves us as a father loves his child.  

I used to be bound to taking medications day and night.  Some would hurt me if I stopped taking them suddenly or some were going to hurt me in the long run.  I took a medication that gave me a stroke at age 33.  That ought not to have happened.  Thankfully God had been dealing with me (yes, marijuana was one of my "prescribed" medications).  For quite a long time, I remember a service (this is where the preaching of the word is so important) where Pastor Green said it is a sin not to get prayed for.  Well I was new and kind of scared, so I didn't get prayed for.  However, it stuck with me and I thought on it quite a bit.  Eventually I got the idea (from God) that I needed to quit my medications in order to be healed.  So I wrestled with that for a while.  

Pastor kept preaching about mood altering drugs and the repentance in my heart finally turned me around and I dumped the medications.  I dumped them down the toilet in May 2013.  I also dumped my cigarettes in the trash and my cannabis paraphernalia also.  I went looking for things to dump.  I was ready to be clean.  My God, My Glorious Merciful God, delivered me from all of it.  I had no side effects from the drugs.  I should have had panic attacks.  I should have gone into convulsions.  I mean I didn't even crave a cigarette.

And don't you know the next day all hell broke loose all around me.  I kept thinking, "it's just the devil because he is mad that God broke my bonds."  I am not a slave anymore, Satan's slave.  Now I am a humble willing servant of my Lord Jesus Christ.  I have victory in Jesus' Name, over my sins, my problems, over my enemies. I talk different.  The slang I use, what I talk about, and who I talk to.  God has changed me to an optimist.  I walk different.  I walk with confidence toward the hope that Jesus Christ has given me.  The places I go are different.  The time I spend is different.  My destination is different.  I have a walk with God that is Holy and Pure.  I walk upright!  Praise God.  

My path is straight and I know where I am going. I'm on the highway to heaven, in Jesus' Name!  I think different.  My hopes, dreams, desires are different.  My attitude and spirit are different.  My situation is different.  God has completely changed my life.  I am not the same person I was.  I have learned to embrace change.  You see, when God makes changes, it's always for the better.  Even if you can't see it right away, just hold on because He is working everything out for your betterment.  Now I say GOD CHANGED ME!  I don't want to stay the same.  He holds us in His hands.  He created us and let me tell you that He knows what's best for us.  He is always right on time, so if you just hold out; hang in there.  God will cover and correct all your wrongs and straighten out your life with His Mercy and Grace and Holy Spirit.  You just trust in Jesus and keep on keeping on!